why do i exist

CASA Camporee 2023

Like the Tres Ranchos Jungle Camporee but wetter.

Flagpole

One of the many events was flagpole construction, with the goals of stability and height. The flagpole was to be constructed out of whatever you brought and nothing else, which meant a flagpole had to be constructed from sticks and ropes (unless you're like troop 468).

Our flagpole was based on a tripod reinforced by three sticks, three guy lines, three ropes, and a few ludicrously long round lashings. All our other resources were used to make the flagpole as long as possible. Although it leaned slightly, the flagpole was both tall and withstood our numerous attacks. For some reason, we didn't win anything for this. Further investigation showed that other troops used suspicious materials and anomalously large sticks.

Cooking

The cooking event was an evaluation of a meal cooked in about an hour based on presentation, flavor, and creativity.

Our meal was a thing with rice noodles, alternating shrimp and vegetable stems, waves of cucumber, and garnish. It was cooked by three people over an hour and achieved third place.

Campfire

Like many other camps, the end of the day included a campfire. Skits from various troops made up the majority of this campfire, including troop 201 patrol 2's skit. Somehow, a single line ended up being the only entertaining part of the skit.

Transcript

This skit is about cheating to obtain a civil servant job. Do not read anything between brackets or parentheses. Do not say the word 'ham' or 'spam'.
Characters: Narrator, Bing Wong (main character), Chin Wong (uncle with civil servant contacts), Supreme Counselor Han (important person), Supreme Counselor Hao (another important person), guards

Narrator: Hello my wonderful students, today we will start our civil servant entrance exams
Bing Wong: *Walks to his desk*
Bing Wong: I have studied a lot for this day
Narrator: 3 hours later, Bing Wong finally walks outside the room almost fainting
Bing Wong: Oh my god, I'm gonna fail!

3 days later
Narrator: Bing Wong gets a letter from the civil service
Bing Wong: *Jumps back*
Bing Wong (yelling): Oh my god! What? I still have to take 20 classes and pass 4 more exams?!?!
Narrator: Bing Wong tries and goes to find his uncle who is a chef for the king

Bing Wong: Hey, can you pull some strings with your civil servant contacts?
Chin Wong: Yeah, but that'll be 5000 ounces of silver!
*Bing Wong jumps back*
Bing Wong: What? 5000 ounces of silver?
Bing Wong: Ok... (in a kinda sad tone)

Narrator: Bing goes to the bank and then walks to the Golden Dragon restaurant to exchange silver for the contact
Bing Wong: *gets money*
Bing Wong: I'm back with the money cuh! Where's the contact?
Chin Wong: Here is the contact for Han, you'll find him over there.
Bing Wong: Omg it's Supreme Counselor Han!
Narrator: Supreme Counselor Han and Bing go on to devise a plan

Supreme Counselor Han: What do you want?
Bing Wong: I have a plan for me to pass those 20 classes and 4 exams.
Bing Wong: Gimme a cheatsheet.
Supreme Counselor Han: Sure.
Supreme Counselor Han: *gets a piece of paper*
Bing Wong: Thank you for all the help. Nepotism really works!

Narrator: Bing easily passes 3 of the exams but the other supreme counselors are suspicious
Supreme Counselor Hao: Let's investigate this kid.

Narrator: On the final exam, Bing Wong walks in with confidence
Bing Bong: * pulls out his cheat sheet hidden underneath his pocket like always*

Narrator: Suddenly two imperial guards pull Bing Wong out the exam room
Narrator: They then took him to the prison to be interrogated

*Bing Wong gets interrogated by the imperial guards*
Guard: What is this? What is this in your hand?
Bing Wong: It's nothing, its nothing I swear?
Guard: Is that a cheat sheet?
Bing Wong: Ok maybe it is!
Guard: Are you cheating?
Bing Wong: Uh, yeah?
Guard: How could you? This is punishable by death!
Narrator: The two imperial guards then take him to the courtroom

Supreme Counselor Hao: Bow to him!
Bing Wong: (something interesting, not 'OOGA BOOGA')
Supreme Counselor Han: I sentence you to a life of hard labor
Bing Wong (Yelling): He is the one that helped me cheat!

Narrator: But no one believed him
Narrator: Bing Wong is then thrown into the fields, never to be seen again

Guards: Back to the rice field!
*Guards throw Bing Wong into a fire*

Chinese calligraphy

Writing chinese characters. One of our patrols attempted this and it apparently didn't go well for unspecified reasons.

Minefield

Minefield = crawling blindfolded while people tell you where to go in chinese. Scoring was based on time with a massive penalty for touching objects. Nevertheless, we attempted to go slow and dodge obstacles instead, which didn't work. Seeing that other patrols managed to cross the minefield in less than ten seconds, we obviously didn't win anything for this.

Firebuilding

One of the most disappointing events was firebuilding. The objective was simply to light a fire as fast as possible. Since we were literally inside a cloud, finding dry materials proved to be exceedingly difficult and we were unable to start the fire that lasted long enough.

Kim's game

Another one of these disappointments was kim's game, where a patrol had to memorize forty items. The two patrols memorized twenty and thirty items but this was apparently not enough to gain recognition.

Relay

A relay race consisting of a three legged walk, sit ups, water movement, chopsticks, and balls.

Images

Some more images from the camporee

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